A Reflection on Communicating

   They say speech and emotions is what separates us from the animals. And, some days I agree. If we could all just have a way to be and move like a wolf moves among its pack, respecting the order out of instinct. As I think about it though, we always want to know what the wolf is thinking. What would it SAY. This is how valuable communication is to the human race. It is a powerful tool that we take for granted daily. 

 This is a timely point in my life to be reflecting on this...as I recently have learned some deeply ingrained habits I had around communicating, based on growing up with unpredictable responses to what I may say. I became more and more aware of timing, and tones so I could better my chances of getting a gentle answer, or the result I was hoping for. I also developed a bad habit of putting of bad news, or speaking up when I didn't want to do something, until it was almost too late. This sounds bazaar, and silly. How does that help anything? It doesn't. But when you don't want to be the one to create a hostile environment, you will develop strange behaviours to get around it, until time forces you to actually speak up. This, of course, has led to a few near disastrous outcomes as an adult, with my husband, a perfectly safe person to speak to. 

  The parent that I had to be so careful around is still in my life, only just.  And I have been so grateful for text to help me to say the things I need to clearly and concisely, and yes, even gently & with respect. All these things are possible. The person doesn't always like it. Its not what they are used to from me, but text helps me say it anyway, and not hear their voice and intimidation tactics. I don't get pulled in. I am most grateful for text in this way.  

 Another way text has been a great addition to my life, is that it keeps me in touch (hourly if we want) with my close sisters who do not live nearby. This has been such a gift to daily be in touch with them at no cost, because of text. Things do not often get confused with text between us, because we know each other so well. They even help me with my verbal communication challenges and I have grown so much in this area. 

My husband has been most patient and helped me with ways of communicating that would help him. Communicating is the only thing we as humans have, to share how we're feeling, or to encourage someone in their work. It is crucial to being human! I am so glad we are able to talk and listen to each other to learn more about each other and what's helps or hurts us.